Yikes! I've Been Tagged!

I've been tagged by Chari and am now compelled to provide, in no particular order, eight random facts/habits about myself that you may or may not know [or even care]. However, the rules dictate that I provide the rules first:

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them each a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

So, here are 8 random facts about me:
1. FACT: I can wiggle my eyebrows, and I enjoy doing so because inevitably whomever sees me do this tries to do it. They are never successful.
2. FACT: I have lost 70 pounds so far. Despite the fact that I'm still a fat ass, I'm much happier with the way I look. I actually found a couple of muscles the other day. The woman they belonged to didn't necessarily appreciate me finding them, but has agreed not to press charges so long as I abide by the restraining order.
3. FACT: Despite the fact that I'm not very good at it, I derive a sense of accomplishment from trimming our dogs. After their most recent hair cut, we have removed all mirrors from the house and will be getting them therapy lest the ASPCA come back to inquire about the large rats again.
4. HABIT: I am anal-retentive about shirt collars. They must be folded and lined up correctly. People around me who don't share my retentiveness don't always appreciate my help. Especially Fidget.
5. FACT: The one and only time anyone actually called the police on me, it was for mowing their lawn. Okay, it was the early 90's, I was using meth and had apparently decided that everyone on my side of the street needed their lawns mowed. The fact that I had been mowing for 13 hours had nothing to do with the call to the police, I'm sure. Nor the fact that I hadn't bothered to actually ask anyone if they WANTED me to mow their lawn. Oops.
6. FACT: I was never a Girl Scout. I got kicked out the Brownies for kissing another little girl. Hey, she drug me into the closet! When I did stand-up (one fun summer) I used to say that I got kicked out of Girl Scouts for eating a Brownie.
7. FACT: I ran over a skunk with an ambulance at about 80 miles an hour.
8. FACT: I've taught two of my cats to play fetch. Okay...they're cats. Most likely, they trained me to throw the toy.

So, now I'm supposed to tag 8 other people. Hmmm...Do I know 8 people? A sad realization has come to me...I'm a loser with no blogging pals. I'll tag as many as I can, forgive me for bending the rules:

Dawn
Cranky Chick
MJ--Damn, I don't know her but was going to tag her anyway. Looks like she's already been tagged.
Karen

Now, if I can just manage to get these 3 tagged, it looks like I'm done. Thanks, Chari!

Disclaimer: If for some reason you wanted to be tagged and weren't, please contact the blog author and a tag will be sent. Equal Opportunity Tagger.