Ever get something stuck in your head?

I don't mean a song...I mean a memory. Something you'd rather not think about. Something you almost wish you could just erase...except that you wouldn't really go through with erasing it because to do so would alter who you are. I mean, it would alter you to your core.

I'm being haunted by an EMS memory, an ambulance run I was on about 3 years ago. When the pager went off, I had no idea that my life was about to be changed. And it's stuck in my head. I dream about it, it comes into my mind at the most odd times...and it won't go away. It's like my brain is stuck. And I can't figure out why.

I'm not in touch with the local crew anymore, so I can't ask them for advice. I don't know that a non-EMS person would understand. I just keep thinking that if I could figure out why it's stuck there, I could un-stick it.

Suggestions anyone? Bueller? Bueller?