To Be a Cat

Thanks to my 2 readers for the get well wishes. No bird flu here! :) I'm still not 100%, but am feeling much better.

After visiting SoapBox Blog, and commenting there on my pets' behaviors...I've decided I want to be a cat.

Reasons to be a cat:
1. Cats can sleep whenever and wherever they want.
2. Someone else cleans their bathroom.
3. Someone always makes sure they have plenty of food and water. And if the water isn't fresh enough, all they have to do is knock the bowl over, spilling the "bad" water, and it will be quickly replaced.
4. If they want attention they simply demand it. Can you imagine crawling onto the couch next to your significant other, discovering that their book/magazine/newspaper is still more interesting than you...So you simply climb onto said book/magazine/newspaper and place a paw on their chin. Fidget chuckles when the cats do this. She also slaps me when I do.
5. On the other hand, if you try to pet a cat and they ignore you, most humans will simply shrug and say, "Yup, acts like a cat." (Try this with your significant other and you will most likely find yourself sleeping on the sofa while the cat sleeps in your bed.)
6. If cats get a sudden urge to be in another room...ZOOOOOM!! They're there. Maybe it's just our cats, but every once in a while one of them will awaken, stretch, sit and think for a moment and then ZOOOOOM! What is this about? (Again, imagine your other half's reaction if you would get out of the easy chair, stretch and then tear hell for a random room, only to sit down, whip out a wash cloth and begin wiping at your face upon arrival. No, I haven't tried this one yet...I wonder what Fidget would say?)
7. Conversely, no one thinks much of it when a cat just sort of wanders aimlessly through the house. When humans do this, we call it "dementia".
8. If someone pisses off a cat, the cat will twitch their tail and hiss. Try this the next time your boss hands you an assignment at 4:55 on Friday afternoon...Shake your butt and hiss loudly. Let me know what kind of reaction you get. (I know some of you want to do this, and are giggling like a school girl just thinking of it.)
9. You can get away with anything. You can chase your tail, the dog's tail, the sunbeam, lie in wait and pounce on your human's feet...And humans simply shrug and say, "Crazy cat" whilst chuckling. (Fidget asked me what the hell was wrong with me when I tried to pounce on her feet. All in the name of research, my friends.)

I know that Letterman's lists always have 10 items...I'm not Letterman. Can you come up with any more ideas? Or perhaps some other odd things for me to do to Fidget?